And some of the crowd are on the pitch! They think it's all over... It is now!
There's nothing like a frantic game of football to even a few stag party scores. Don bibs or shirts for a 5-a-side extravaganza that's guaranteed to cure headaches and settle any little tantrums from last night!
We've found an epic pitch just a short ride from Hamburg city centre, and we're throwing in everything you need to play for death or glory. You get the pitch reserved for a full-on match, use of the changing cabins and ball hire - all you need to bring is teams and a winning attitude!
Perfect for stags who love to boot a pig's bladder around, 5-a-side football is also a brilliant stag party leveller. Split the boys into evenly-matched teams, and use the time to blow off some steam. Any little niggles that have been building up after plenty of weissbier and not enough sleep will soon dissipate in the cut and thrust of wholesome competition!
Football's all about 90 minutes, Brian, so we've secured your pitch for the duration. Deploy those sweepers and play rolling goalies to give everyone a chance at scoring the winner...